I have recently finished what could have been a nasty flame war. I would like to relate it in its entirety to get it out of my system. The forum I won’t name. The only reason I feel justified in posting this is mail was sent to me “off line”. I should note that the forum is moderated so even though I sent a few more posts these are the only one’s that got to the area where everyone can see them.
This is the start of my involvement.
quote
****writes: I’m aware of the situation in S Korea where very large numbers
> > of Vietnamese women are marrying Korean farmers who cannot find
> wives. Also, and only anecdotally, on recent visits to Shizuoka-ken I
> > encountered several groups of Filipina women (one of 15+Â mothers), all
> > married to Japanese farmers, and all with one or more children.
>
????? writes -A major problem in many of these relationships is domestic violence.
In rural areas, the access to resources such as women’s counseling
centers and shelters is an issue, as well as the language barrier and
the lack of a social network of family and friends also are issues.
This is certainly not a “win-win’ situation for all women who enter
into these arrangements.
To which I replied
Mr. ????
I know this is your banner issue but I would like to see something more definite than a blanket accusation of
“A major problem in many of these relationships is domestic violence”
I don’t doubt that support is lacking in the country but I think painting the male half of the population as predisposed to abuse women with out some specific facts is a little over the top.
Sincerely,
Dave
davidmorrisonpike.com
To which Mr.????
replied
Mr. Pike wrote:> I don’t doubt that support is lacking in the country but I think painting
> the male half of the population as predisposed to abuse women with
> out some specific facts is a little over the top.I’m not sure why Mr. Pike came to the conclusion that I was claiming
that the male half of the population was “predisposed to abuse
women”.There has been much written about this issue, but once source in
particular is the excellent introduction to the English translation
of “Sandakan Brothel No. 8″ by Miyazaki Tomoko. The Japan Times has
also written about this issue* as well as domestic violence in
general. There are many sources of information on DV in Japan** — I
also have written a paper on sexual violence in both Japan and the
U.S. which I’d be glad to send to Mr. Pike or anyone else upon request.
To which I replied
Mr. ????,
You are right, I shouldn’t have come to the conclusion I did. That’s what I get for responding at 4:30 in the morning. I’m sorry if I offended you.
I would like some facts to support your statement below.
Mr. ????? wrote
A major problem in many of these relationships is domestic violence.
Mr. ????? wrote
“There has been much written about this issue,”
You are right.  There has been much written about most topics on this forum and most of the time facts are presented and arguments given. I don’t think it should be any different with the serious problem of domestic violence.
Sincerely,
Dave
davidmorrisonpike.com
Up to this point all exchanges had taken place for the general audience of the list to see.
After sending my apology I received this in my website email.
The post title was Regarding your comments on %%%%% list.
(off list)
I find your statements on %%%% quite disturbing, as it implies that those who stand up and speak out against male violence towards women
really have hidden tendencies towards misandry. Such statements only help silence discussion on an extremely important issue.
If you want to engage in a productive and meaningful debate, I welcome that. However, I’d appreciate it if you represent my positions accurately.
I hope your future comments will be less argumentative and more constructive in the future.
end of exchange.Â
Ouch, ohh. My first comment is Mr. ??? seems like a first rate coward. I guess being raised in the wide open west of the U.S. makes me expect people to settle their differences with me out in the open, with words, not by presenting one face to most people and another to me in the back room.
Another point is I do think domestic violence is a major problem. I would guess by Mr. ???’s age, which I know, that I was doing performance art work in California against misogyny when he was still in grade school. Having said that I do think I and others should cap the shrillness and present facts, even for those things we feel strongly about.